c's casual considerations

2023-02-05 21:21-0600 - introspection on loneliness and introversion

i used to think i’m more extroverted, but lately i feel that’s wrong

i had so few people to talk to, and i had nothing to do. my social battery was constantly at max capacity, and i had nowhere to truly expend energy

as time’s gone on, getting over a breakup, gaining a very close best friend i’m always in call with, and since joining fedi; i’ve found myself with more people to talk to, and more things to do

i enjoy these options, it brings me great joy! i’m far less lonely than i used to be, i have far less self-esteem issues, and i’m generally more productive

i also find myself, for the first time, seeing notifications and just… not having the energy to open them.

on top of being at a stressful point in life, sometimes i’m too drained, or too mentally spread out; to where i’m unable to think beyond myself, my best friend, and whatever im currently doing

it’s a very odd feeling. wanting more friends, yet finding myself with less energy to handle having them